YESTERDAY WAS A BAD DAY!
I have one (or two) of those days every month… where EVERYTHING seems terrible and hopeless and pointless and I feel completely worthless and absolutely incapable of ever succeeding at anything. Yesterday was that day. I woke up, showered, got dressed, and started right in on my writing – only to find myself COMPLETELY unable to make a decision – about characters, about setting, about where to place some reflective thoughts, about how to introduce a character…..
I started taping whole pages together because I just want to see everything laid out in front of me, but then I just had huge strips of paper everywhere – and I got mad about that.
So, I walked away.
I piled everything I’d drug out of my office on the dining room table, stomped around the house a bit, took Pearl for a walk, did all the laundry, washed every piece of our bedding, emptied the dishwasher, gave Pearl a bath, and made dinner.
Still feeling like I’d probably never be able to commit another word to paper and should probably go to Target and apply for a job as a cashier, I decided I would look into the 45-hour post-licensing class I need to complete in order to satisfy the requirements for renewing my FL real estate license.
(I have to keep my license active so that I can continue to earn referral fees from my previous life and sit in the model home in my neighborhood…)
I’ve known about this requirement – oh, for about 18 months – and just kept putting it off.
So, yesterday, I started an online course – which is looking like it will take forever – like, probably 45 hours…. (The coursework index looks not unlike that Excel spreadsheet I made for my writing to-do list.)
At the end of my 45-hours-worth of material, I have to take an exam. If I don’t pass that exam, then I either have to wait 30 days to take it again OR I can pay another $125 – go through all the online material again and then try again. Regardless, I have to pass the exam in time to renew my license before the end of March. So, that’s getting much of my focus right now – even though I woke up this morning wanting to write:)
Thanks for being real, and sharing the struggle. I know you don’t like emptying the dishwasher. And you’d rather write than do this course, but sounds like you’re figuring it out, getting good things done, doing your next right thing =)
If every writing day felt like a grand slam, then stadiums would be filled with writers. But please don’t torture yourself. I bet you can think of something that happened that day that was inspiring. Build from there! Or, think of it like this. If you discover one diamond every day, soon you will have a necklace!