December 20, 2016
Hello, 18-year-old Avery….
I just got off the phone with your mom and we arrived at the conclusion that you should be a senior in high school when you’re reading this… which is perfect timing for the “wisdom” I hope to impart in my letter.
I’ve sat down to work on this letter more times than I can count – and just keep deleting everything that I type. First, I want to tell you that your mom is pretty amazing… You’re probably at a point where she’s either your best friend, or your mortal enemy… Hopefully it’s somewhere in the middle – closer to the friend side of things.
You really do have pretty great parents. I watch your mom reason with JP (he’s five now….) and comfort you when you step on a toy or bonk your head –and, I just think – she is so much better at parenting than I would ever be…
When your parents bug you – just keep in mind that their ultimate goal is to raise two happy, healthy, well-balanced people – and that a lot of time and energy and money and worry have gone into that goal…
Ok – on to my ‘real’ message.
THERE ARE MORE OPTIONS IN LIFE THAN YOU MAY REALIZE.
At least that was true for me –and I’m guessing your family/upbringing/school is pretty similar to the experiences I grew up with.
Growing up – we never moved. We lived in the farmhouse outside Worden. (Hopefully your grandma and grandpa still live there… life is uncertain….) I wanted SO BADLY to MOVE somewhere else – just for the sake of moving. I wanted to house-hunt and pick out a new bedroom and decorate a new bedroom. I wanted my own bathroom.
Whether you still live in the same house you live in now – or if your mom and dad move 100 times – don’t be afraid to move away. I didn’t go far for college – only about 2.5 hours away – but it made me realize that sometimes a little space is nice. I got to decorate my dorm room – then four different apartments. It also made it easier to move other places later in life because I’d done it once before in a “safe” environment when my parents were still helping financially.
I went to Metro-East Lutheran High School (maybe your school’s arch-rival???) The career options that were presented to us were pretty much pastor or teacher….. maybe a coach or secretary. I’m sure there were other jobs presented to us – like accountant or architect, but my point is – I had NO IDEA so many job options existed.
Someone has to pick the merchandise that you see in stores – and then someone else chooses how that merchandise is supposed to be displayed – and then other people track and research how those items are selling and which configuration results in the highest sales. There are headquarters for every company you could possibly think of – and then some. Thousands of people work “behind the scenes” at companies like Google, Marriott, Target, Southwest Airlines, Ford, Nike, Netflix (if that’s still a thing), Disney, etc. That never really occurred to me when I was thinking about what I wanted to be when I grew up……
When I found out that interior designers existed – that was what I wanted to be. Unfortunately – I didn’t realize that was a JOB – that people got paid to pick out paint colors and fabric samples – until I was a junior in college….. I was ¾ of the way through my college curriculum – studying a more scientific approach to farming (because I grew up on a farm and that is what I knew….) before I realized that I could earn money by furniture shopping.
There are people that edit books, people that direct movies, people that design posters and cardboard cut-outs, people that helps actors and athletes find the best income opportunities. There are trainers that travel with sports teams, people that design the sets for TV shows and plays. There are people that design furniture and people that design landscaping. (And, there are millions of other jobs that don’t revolve around designing and merchandising, those were just the things that appealed most to me. But, you get the point.)
I used to joke that I wanted to fund a college scholarship – but only award it to kids that promised not to choose a major until their second or third year of school… I picked my major when I was still in high school – probably toward the beginning of my senior year – and plowed through my decision with tunnel vision.
I chose not to have kids… (That decision is already gaining popularity – so hopefully you’re aware that’s an option at this point….) I’m not saying you shouldn’t have kids…. But SO MANY people my age just got married and had kids – without really thinking about it – because they just thought that was what they were supposed to do.
Life is short. Do what makes you happy (as long as it’s not something terrible) and DON’T BE AFRAID TO CHANGE YOUR MIND/JOB/ADDRESS… I’m nine days away from turning 35 – and I have no idea what I’m doing…. If you told me when I was 18 that I would have multiple, random jobs as an adult – I wouldn’t have believed you. I thought I was going to be a focused, accomplished scientist. But, I’m happy….. and isn’t that the real goal?
Well, I think that’s about all the insight I’ve got.
Lots of love to you – and Happy 18th birthday!
Love,
Aunt Tara
(Shared with my sister’s permission.)
You should include that poem from Robert Frost. ❤️